The 72 Japanese Microseasons of my Discontent - Part 21 : 大雪 Taisetsu (Greater snow)

December 7–11閉塞成冬 Sora samuku fuyu to naru - Cold sets in, winter begins

December 12–16熊蟄穴 Kuma ana ni komoru - Bears start hibernating in their dens

December 17–21鱖魚群 Sake no uo muragaru - Salmon gather and swim upstream

'Conspiracy Lab 1', May 2022 by late Vancouver pop artist Derrick 'BOY' Humphries

Wednesday, November 30th

From here, the remainder of sand in the year's hourglass starts disappearing fast.

After a couple of false starts, it also looks like real, actual winter may finally be setting up shop for the duration. The guest commentators on today's local morning variety news program were 'joking' about it after the weather girl confirmed that 'a distinct shift in our meteorological fortunes' would start being felt by late-afternoon. As the camera switched from street-side to studio proper, the worn out looking middle-aged 'comedian' on deck (his claim to fame - SHOUTING - is apparently hysterically funny to the natives) turned to the paunchy, slightly younger host and quipped,

'So...December 1st, and it's winter...just like that?', snapping his fingers for added 'comic' effect.

Yup.

"Just like that"

While you'd be hard pressed to find any legitimate 'comedian' firing on all cylinders at 6:05 am, the revolving door cast of 'C' level, Nagoya-based celebrities that they trot out to sit in on the proceedings from Monday to Friday can be painful to behold, at best.

At least he refrained from shouting. Nobody wants to hear that shit at 6 am.

When I opened the front sliders to move the half-dry evening laundry out on to the balcony at 5:30 am, it was a balmy 16C. Tomorrow morning, it'll be 8C. Saturday, it'll be 3C. While the beginning of next week looks marginally better, it's pretty sure that we won't see anything over 12 or 14C again this year. That's a pretty radical transition to metabolize over the course of two or three days.

Have I mentioned how much I hate winter?

Today is both Mina's birthday, and our 16th wedding anniversary. She had the day off yesterday, but with her annual health check (and my gig over at the kindergarten) occupying the entire morning, and an early afternoon appointment over at Atsuta Ward Office basically nixing the rest of the day, we didn't have much time to do anything special.

Our big mission over at the Ward Office was to finally get our 'My Number' cards sorted (the Japanese approximation of a social security card; but way more dodgy and invasive). We'd been sitting on the fence over whether or not we wanted to even bother for the last couple of years, as they'd initially been touted as 'wholly optional', and seem to give the government just a bit too much access to our bank and credit information.

It's worth noting here that the Japanese government has an exceptionally poor track record as far as cyber-security is concerned. North Korean, Chinese and Russian hacker gangs regularly help themselves to all kinds of sensitive data and information. Time after time, through all the crocodile tears and deep bow apologies, they continue to set row after row of steaming hot fruit pies out to cool on the sill of their perpetually open cyber window...then act as if it isn't their fault that the neighbours come by and snatch them.

In any case, they've been frantically trying to get a skeptical and rightfully suspicious general public on board with their plan to have everyone start carrying these 'all purpose' identification cards for a few years now. Regardless of the so-called incentives they've been dangling to entice people to apply (electronic cash credits), uptake has been slow and unenthusiastic.

About a month ago, they upped the ante and started dropping 'hints' that within a couple of years, these cards will no longer be optional...but mandatory. The idea here is that from 2024, the government will (theoretically) no longer be issuing separate driver's licenses or medicare cards. The ubiquitous My Number card will serve as both. There is even talk of linking the cards to the holder's bank accounts and credit cards, enabling almost every non-cash transaction made to be monitored by the central government. To allay the public's suspicions and skepticism, they simply try to tout these cards as east and convenient.

"Imagine! A future in which you don't need to carry a dozen different cards around in your wallet!"

I can't help but think of that old proverb...the one about not putting all of your eggs in one basket.

And people think the Chinese central government is out of control.

A few days ago, Deputy Führer/Minister of Digital Affairs Taro Kono even suggested that in the very near future, presentation of this card may well be required to enter special events venues - meaning that people without said card would be effectively excluded from attending concerts or sporting events, among other things. This provoked quite a reaction online, with the consensus opinion being sharply critical of the Japanese government's moves toward tying possession of this 'all powerful card' to the maintenance of people's basic freedoms and liberties, not to mention nagging questions about our loss of privacy, and increased government surveillance.

On one thread, an interesting point was made as to how tourists or non-residents would be able to access special events venues, as such cards are only available to people who reside here.

As tourism (and specifically the revenue generated therefrom) is seen as such a crucial economic engine moving forward, surely promoting a scheme that would effectively limit or prevent non-residents from accessing such venues could be considered short-sighted, at best.

In any case, after a considerable amount of hesitation and waffling, when news dropped that we'd essentially need to have the cards by 2024 if we wished to continue accessing healthcare or operating motor vehicles thereafter, we decided to cave, and submit our lengthly and invasive applications. In an attempt to take the sting off, as promised, the government gave us each credit vouchers worth the equivalent of ¥20,000 each. Electronic currency that can be used in places like supermarkets, fast food joints and convenience stores.

I guess the extra cash handout will help defray the cost of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Christmas Dinner bucket set we pre-ordered for the old lady just before Halloween. Christmas ain't Christmas in these parts without a bucket of the Colonel's finest.

A small win, I suppose.

After we finished up with the My Number business, we stopped in to the specialty patisserie over at Sapore, so the birthday girl could pick out some boutique pastries that we can stick candles into and sing 'Happy Birthday' over.

For now, I'm off to squeeze in my last 'temperate' morning run of 2022, then clean the house, and start getting Mina's birthday dinner organized. Hopefully I don't stroke out halfway up the canal. That wouldn't be much of way to mark our special day.

Friday, December 2nd

It was just past 5:00 am this morning when I shuffled bleary-eyed in to the cold living room, clicked the lights, heater and plasma cluster thing on, and perched myself on the edge of our sofa in front of the TV. This is my standard post-slumber decompression routine. I usually sit in a kind of half-slouch and squint at the screen for a minute, toggling the volume around until I get it just right. Audible enough so that I can hear it clearly when I go take a shit...but not loud enough to be jarring, or awaken the lady of the house, who usually sleeps until 6:30.

While I wait for my eyes to adjust to the dual glare of the screen and the overhead fluorescent area lamp, I jockey between CNN and the BBC. I invariably settle on the BBC in fairly short order, as the American announcer they have on CNN at that hour has a grating, annoying voice.

Anyways, the fucking thing hadn't been on more than a minute and a half before the BBC Sports Desk announced that the Japanese World Cup squad had just netted their second goal against Spain.

Fucking hell.

I'd known that the 'big game' was going to be on in the wee hours of the morning. That's all they'd been talking about on last night's evening news. Camera people had been out on the streets of downtown Nagoya (aka Losersville), asking a random sampling of the local natives if they were excited, and were planning on either staying up all night, or setting their alarm clocks extra early to watch the national team take on Spain.

A smattering of mostly middle-aged native males said they were going to be getting up at 3:00 am to cheer the Japanese team on. Some were planning on spending the night at local 24 hour spa/bath-houses, where they could bathe, eat, nap, then watch the game in the company of other like-minded automatons before going off to work. One fat guy in his mid-late 20's boasted of having taken the day off so he could 'enjoy the match' without worrying about being too tired or hung-over (read - still drunk) at work.

Of course, a number of restaurants and sports bars around town had decided to stay open all night to welcome fans...the majority of whom appeared to be loud, inebriated college-aged guys, decked out in the team's signature 'Samurai Blue' jerseys, waving little red and white hinomaru flags around. From the live news footage at a couple of these establishments, the males vastly out numbered the females...to the point where one might wonder what on earth the few girls in attendance were even doing there. Tagging along with their boyfriends?

Words can't quite sum up the sheer dread I felt when I heard that the Japanese team was doing the seemingly impossible...and beating Spain. I'd been sure they were going to lose, and hoping that would simply be the end of it...but no.

The fuckers won. They actually won.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not a big fan of Spain, soccer, or the World Cup in general.

What I really can't stand are manic, over-the-top displays of flag waving nationalism. I find them frightening, and disturbing. Maybe it's that I simply can't identify. I was born in the U.S., raised and socialized in Canada, and have lived as an expat in Japan for close to half of my life. While I have close connections to all three countries, I don't feel any sense of loyalty or patriotism to any of them.

I have a great deal of affection for Canada. That's where my Mum, Gramma and siblings were born. I spent my formative years in Vancouver. I have a well documented love/hate relationship with Japan, my adopted homeland for close to thirty years. I resent the United States, and the burden and expense of having to file income tax returns and FinCen bank account reports with the creepy and prying Internal Revenue Service (I.R.S.) every February. I pay taxes in Japan. Mum and I fled the U.S. when I was three years old. Fifty three years later, what I do is none of their fucking business. If I could easily renounce that albatross of a citizenship, I'd do it in an instant. It's a curse.

In many ways, I consider myself stateless.

While I find all displays of patriotic nationalism off-putting, something about the fervour with which the Japanese throw themselves into expressing their national pride when one of their compatriots or teams wins on the world stage is particularly gross.

Events like this bring out the very worst in the local natives...who are fickle, fly-by-night band-wagon jumpers by nature. Whether it's the Soccer or Rugby World Cup, or the fucking loathsome Olympics, any opportunity the natives have to jump on their hysteria fueled, flag waving patriotic bandwagon...they're all over it.

Maybe one reason I find it all so distasteful is the fact that Japan is basically a racially homogenous country. Japan is FOR THE JAPANESE. More specifically, THE ETHNIC JAPANESE. The rest of us are, well...second or third class 'guests' - no matter how long we may have lived here and/or tried to integrate.

When the Japanese cheer, scream "NIHON TSUBARASHII!!...NIHON SAIKOU!!!" (Japan is great!! Japan is AWESOME!!), and wave those little red and white flags around, it easy to see that the mindset of the average rank-and-file native over here hasn't really changed a whole lot since the days of Hideki Tojo and the 'Greater East-Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere'.

It's at once stomach turning, and frightening.

For all the technological progress and economic prosperity that the post war era has brought, it's shocking how little the basic mindset among the country's rank and file 'proles' hasn't really changed. The younger generations over here seem particularly ignorant. They are also more vulnerable to the ruling coalition's fear mongering and throw back ideas of national patriotism and resurgent militarism than their older counterparts.

The natives have essentially been raised and conditioned to believe that, as a group, they are unique...and in many ways racially and culturally superior to other 'mongrel' nationalities - specifically to people hailing from other parts of Asia, who currently make up the bulk of a growing 'servant class' in this country - a latter day 'untermensch'.

They feel entitled to the services that this growing under-class diaspora provide, just as Caucasians in the pre-Civil War American South felt entitled to the services provided by the cheap and abundant African slave labour they took for granted...not to mention the copious wealth also generated therefrom.

It's not hard to imagine that within a couple of decade's time, the children of some of these workers - born and raised in Japan, but denied the same basic rights and privileges afforded their 'ethnically pure' Japanese counterparts - will start making waves, demanding that these imbalances be addressed. Perhaps in standing up to demand the recognition and equality they deserve, they will upset the proverbial applecart, and the ensuing social unrest will end up jeopardizing the precious sense of 'wa' (social harmony) that the local natives have been conditioned to believe is their birthright.

At that point you may have an urban landscape over here reminiscent of what can be seen in other developed countries, especially those with past colonial-style immigration policies.'Foreign neighbourhoods' that are considered dangerous hot beds of crime and poverty.

This newfound social malaise could well be the impetus for a resurgent and aggressive wave of Japanese nationalism among the natives, who will increasingly blame their own sour fortunes on problems they've been conditioned to believe are the result of said foreigners.

It's happened over here before, most notably with the Korean diaspora in the early 20th century. Racial violence against Korean residents in places like Tokyo was rampant. Many lost their lives.

In typical Japanese fashion, all the consequent problems caused by said 'disruptions' will be blamed on the 'foreigners, ingrates and heathens' who had so kindly been allowed to enter this 'land of opportunity', only to betray the 'trust and generosity' of their hosts...and 'spit in their faces', as it were. The butt-hurt and resentment over here will run hard and deep. History has a habit of repeating.

Alas, I digress.

It's worth mentioning that I'm not particularly fond of the over-the-top nationalism on daily display in the United States, either. The flag waving and misplaced displays of patriotism and 'pride' give me acid reflux.

'Make America Great Again'. That really takes the cake.

'Again'?

That would imply the country actually HAD been great at some point in the past. Was that sometime between all of the Lying, land thieving, genocide and slavery? When?

Sorry. I must have missed something?

That's not to say that Americans themselves are bad...or worse than anyone else. Maybe just informed a little differently. They live in a bit of a fishbowl. Despite all of this, their cultural and ethnic diversity as a nation is definitely advantageous. Hopefully one day they'll see that diversity for what it is. Their biggest, un-tapped strength.

The Canadians are marginally better. They don't seem as hung up on their flag, or nationalism in general. They do tend to like to display their colours when traveling, though. If there's one thing Canadians don't like...it's being mistaken for their neighbours south of the border, particularly out in the world at large. Americans aren't well liked. They THINK they are...but they really aren't. In a way, it could be said that Canadian nationalism is simply based on 'not being an American'. It's often been said that - obvious cultural and linguistic similarities aside - the main difference between Canada and the U.S. is that Canada is a mosaic of the immigrants who make up its population. People come to Canada, become Canadians; yet maintain close connections to the cultures and traditions of their places of origin. The U.S. is a melting pot. People go to the States to become AMERICANS...or at least, that's the expectation. If they cling to their home cultures too much, their 'Americanism' is ultimately called into question.

I think the main difference - the thing that makes Japanese nationalism just that much more more disturbing - is the ingrained sense of cultural and racial supremacism that seems to be perpetuated from one generation to the next. Their PURITY. It's not something they really discuss. They don't need to, because they're all one 'big happy family' swimming around in their own unique island gene pool. As is, it's one of those things that tends to bubble around just below the surface of things over here, only really rearing its ugly head when there's one of these international competitions on deck to facilitate it.

From there it spreads like a mid-summer California brush fire.

As for football...or 'soccer' as it's called back where I come from, author George Orwell (1984, Animal Farm) had some distinct opinions on the game. To my mind, this quote rings quite true today...

“[Football] has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting.”

― George Orwell, The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell 1903-1950

The sooner the Japanese national team crashes and burns, the better. I hope they get whipped by Croatia on Monday evening, so we can put all of this gross flag waving, and evolutionary throwback nonsense to bed for the next four years - or at least until the next loathsome international ball kicking competition rolls around.

Tuesday, December 6th

As it happens, Sunday afternoon's gravelly throat translated into Monday morning's full blown low-grade fever malaise.

Not sure whether to credit the sudden hard winter turn in our meteorological fortunes, or the hundred and fifty odd junior disease incubators I entertained over at the Insecthead Kindergarten last Friday morning. Either way, we decided that it would be best to call on 'Dr. Chop', the Taiwanese otolaryngologist (ear-nose-throat specialist) I patronize, in lieu of asshole face Dr. Cauliflower Ears. The 'Chop' clinic is first come, first serve...Cauliflower Ear's place requires an advance appointment, making it in opportune for sudden drop-ins.

It's been awhile since I've paid Dr. Chop a visit....probably almost three years. Before the pandemic, in any case.

*( We call him 'Dr. Chop' because the first time I visited him, seven or eight years ago, I was in rough shape with a cold or the flu, and he offered to put me on a rehydrating intravenous drip...which he referred to in his janky English as 'chop'. I suppose he meant to say 'shot'. "You want chop?!? You want chop?!? I can give you chop! You feel better after chop!" Mina filled me in on what he meant. I declined, as 'chop' takes about half an hour. Thereafter, we've always called him 'Dr. Chop')

Mina made a couple of quick calls to tell her boss she'd be in a couple of hours late, and we were out the door before 8:30. In the pre-COVID era, it wouldn't be such a rush to get checked out and diagnosed, but with COVID and influenza 'A' spreading like fire in these precincts, we can't take any chances. Even though we're both fully vaccinated, said status doesn't preclude our abilities to spread said viral party favours far and wide.

After giving me a quick once over, Dr. Chop determined that I had neither COVID or the flu...just a nasty case of the common cold. He prescribed five day's worth of medication...a literal handful of pills in the morning and at night, and told me to 'take a rest for a couple of days'. We went to the pharmacy next door to get my prescription filled. While I was glad that he hadn't given me a flu or COVID diagnosis, neither of us could help but wonder if he'd checked me out thoroughly enough. I mean, he looked in my throat. Had me breathe in and out a few times. Checked my lymph nodes and put one of those oxygen saturation measurement clip things on my finger. He hadn't bothered taking my temperature or giving me a swab test. The whole ordeal must have taken him all of three minutes.

I spent most of rest of the day in bed, dozing and listening to the CBC app on my iPad. Mina ended up being granted the remainder of the day off, which she spent doing laundry, getting some of our tax stuff in order for the new year filing season, and making a pot of soup...bless her soul.

I was up at the crack of 5:00 am this morning, as usual. Day two (proper) of a cold is usually the worst. I felt like 10kg of dog turds stuffed into a 5kg bag. I took my temperature, and it was 36.2C. Normal for that hour...though I felt feverish and shitty. After turning everything on, I sat on the edge of the couch squinting at the TV. Within a minute or two, the World Cup update was on, with newsclips showing some middle aged Japanese fan decked out in the team's signature blue jersey, holding a little hinomaru flag and crying like a toddler.

Ha ha.

Thank god that fucking shit is over with.

I went about my usual morning housework, putting away the evening dishes, setting up breakfast, and folding clothes. The whole 'am' routine over here takes just over an hour and a half (minus about ten minutes toilet time). Breakfast done cleared, at around 7:30 I sat down on the couch and stared at the TV. They were still obsessing over Japan's loss to Croatia. Hashing and re-hashing...playing the same clips over and over. Apparently it had been a close match. When it was done, some of the players were covering their faces. One their 'star' players was blubbering and weeping openly.

I don't get it. We were always taught to lose with grace, and win with humility. Blubbering and crying was considered poor form...as was gloating and bragging. I notice this crying and blubbering business is fairly standard with Japanese athletes when they lose.They dance around and showboat when they win, and act like jilted toddlers when they can't get their way. Samurai Blue crybabies.

Everyone here just seems to accept it.

I have five year old kids pulling that routine almost every time we play a game over Insecthead's. If no one cries when they lose, it's actually odd.

The Ashtray Face Lady's kids are big on that, too....especially the girl. She absolutely cannot accept losing. She'll usually flip over the board and game pieces, or snatch up everyone's playing cards and chuck them up in the air if it looks like she's going to lose. The boy will start crying if doesn't understand something quickly enough. The last time he started sobbing was because he kept getting the verses of 'All Together Now' (The Beatles tune from Yellow Submarine) mixed up with the ones his sister was supposed to sing. He got really dark and started to withdraw. That basically shit all over the atmosphere for the remainder of the class. Needless to say, I had to drop that song from the itinerary tout de suite, even though his sister seemed to be having a lot of fun with it.

How did people get like this?

Shortly after Mina left for work, I packed it in and went back to bed. Methinks there'll be no plying the Horikawa canal-side for me this week...that is, unless I suddenly start feeling markedly better. Of course, around day 4 or 5, the cold will start moving into my chest. Then it's a week or 10 days of bronchitis. After all of that's done, there's the old 'one day rule', before jumping back in, so that the recovery has a chance to set...so, depending on the severity of my impending bout of bronchial asthma, any lacing up of the runners looks much more likely next Monday, at the very earliest.

At around noon, I took my temperature again. 37.2C. Not quite the COVID threshold of 37.5C, but moving in that direction. I'm thinking I'll have Mina do that lateral flow test swab thing this evening, just to be sure I'm not harbouring anything that could fuck up okasan this coming weekend. The last thing I need is to be the gaijin that gave the old lady a fatal dose just before Christmas.

That's where we'll leave it for now. I figure the autumn photos can wait until the next installment. Since it'll be coming up on Christmas, and no one will be in mood for wading through too much in the way of overly wordy wordiness, a bunch of captioned pictures could go down well. I figure there's probably enough there to split into a couple of installments, too.

As for me. I'm going to crawl back into bed. I feel like hot garbage.

Until next time, you'd do well to remember that...

"No matter where you go, there you are".

There, and nowhere else.

*(Oh....and the lateral flow test came up negative. No COVID this time around - though with all the wheezing and coughing, I can't imagine it would really be that much different)